- Savvy Working Gal
- What to do when your daughter is dating a loser
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- How to Get a Teen to Stop Dating a Loser
- What to Do When Your Daughter Is Dating A Loser
As a mother of three daughters, yes they do get smitten with losers, at least two of my daughters did.
Savvy Working Gal
They both got dumped, so they never learned how bad these guys were for them on their own. No advice because the daughter is an adult. I wonder if she keeps in contact with the boy while in school or is he just a summer thing for her? You gave some good advice BTW.
What to do when your daughter is dating a loser
That's a very complicated situation, and usually I don't think the parents can say much. They can certainly have a conversation and gently share how they feel but then it's up to the daughter.
And if they want her in their life, they need to embrace the relationship once they've said their piece and not say any more. If that's her choice, they have to make the best of it. And who knows, maybe the guy isn't as bad as they think. I think when you give your kids ultimatums, it may drive her to do exactly what her parents don't want.
Sometimes kids have to figure it out for themselves. My parents didn't like some of the boys I dated and when they pushed me to not date the "bad boys," it just made things worse. I would have figured out they were losers earlier on my own. It's interesting though that she pushed her friends away too for not liking him I remember when I was young and dating, I had the mistaken belief if I was involved with a young man for a certain amount of time, I was to do what was expected: I believe I learned this unconsciously from the modeling I saw around me.
We Value Your Privacy
The daughter may think she is doing what she is supposed to be doing, what is expected of her. In her subconscious she may think she is "doing the right thing" by being loyal to her boyfriend.
Has she ever pulled the "I am an adult, I know what I'm doing and you can't control me" card? I would hope for a continued alliance with the daughter rather than creating barricades to relationship. Webb, I like your nudging idea. I was actually kind of surprised she didn't make more friends last year.http://blacksmithsurgical.com/t3-assets/humor/le-the-gorgons.php
How to Get a Teen to Stop Dating a Loser
Perhaps she needs need a little nudge to do more than study and come home every other weekend. Heidi, I think Darlene is right we all want our daughters to find Prince Charming, but he doesn't exist. Actually now that I think about it the riff I currently have stems from my Dad not wanting me to date a boy when I was I did tell Jess that this boy may someday be the father of her grandchildren and that she would be upset if she didn't have a relationship with them because of her feelings now.
Like your brother-in-law he may never forgive them. And I've been following your story. Congratulations on your recent wedding. Funny how things work out. What a letter to your 19 year-old self. No one is perfect and we need to support our children in their decisions. Parents should be on the lookout for more serious problems in a child's relationship, which could require intervention. Ask yourself whether a child's partner is really a "loser.
While your child's boyfriend might not be an exceptional student or a hard worker, your daughter might be content with dating him for now. Most teenage relationships will not last through the college years, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Look for any signs of serious trouble in your child's relationship.
If his girlfriend is frequently critical toward him or if she tries to isolate him from his family, friends and hobbies, your son might be in an unhealthy relationship, according to KidsHealth, a child development site, and you'll need to intervene. Arrange a time to calmly discuss your concerns about your daughter's boyfriend. Open your conversation by saying, "I've noticed that Jack calls you several times a day and that you no longer spend any time with your friends. Showing that you are concerned increases the odds that she will come to you if problems continue in the future.
Educate your teenager about the kinds of behavior that should not be tolerated in a relationship. Boys and girls of various backgrounds can be victims of abusive dating behavior, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you've been in a relationship with a similar partner, share your experience and explain to her what you lost by being with that person.
What to Do When Your Daughter Is Dating A Loser
Invite her to spend as much time as she likes with her partner at your house, in your presence, in a common area. Let her know that a partner who truly loves and respects her will want to spend time with her family -- provided the family treats him well -- then proceed to treat him well. You might have to be nice through your teeth, but chances are the loser won't want to spend much time in your presence anyway.
Once she sees that you're nice to him but he's not nice to you, it might open her eyes. Encourage your teen's interests -- besides him, of course. Talk often about the future, let her know you believe in her talent and help her make concrete plans for achieving her goals. An unmotivated, dropout partner might not seem so appealing when she's been touring colleges and talking about careers. Invite her friends over or take them out as a group to do enjoyable activities -- without the loser. Help her stay in touch with the people she loved before her partner came along.